GIVING THANKS

Recently in Copenhagen, I caught Larry King on CNN as I was getting ready to leave my hotel room one morning. His guests for the day were 'experts' on the scientific value of positive thinking. I stopped and sat down, because - as you might have guessed - I believe very literally in the transformative power of positive thought. Larry's panel was a mixed bag from what felt like the self-help fringes (Jack Canfield wrote Chicken Soup for the Soul; Dr. George Pratt conducts seminars where participants swim with dolphins to correct mild depression; Jayne Payne leads intensive grief weekends with a burial ritual at the conclusion; all of them had workshops and books to sell). Yet, it was hard to deny their own personal success.


What interested me was that each echoed something that I have instinctively known to be true for quite some time. That if you imagine something hard enough - positive or negative - it will inevitably become a reality. As one panelist said, quoting Henry Ford: "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're usually right."

I'm not saying that believing in something replaces working for it, but that you must have both elements - and perhaps, belief is more important than work. I think that all the work in the world toward your goal, without the belief that you can attain it, will sabbatage you faster than shutting yourself up in a cell and doing nothing at all.


Everything that I have really wanted in my life that has come to me, I have envisioned first. Imagined myself living that life, doing that job, owning that house, traveling on that path. I don't know why it works. Perhaps, I just put myself in a place to be ready for it to happen to me. Or perhaps I more readily take the necessary steps to make it happen because I'm already thinking like the person who has the job, house, life. Whatever the reason, I know it works, because it has worked for me time and again. And I'm not telling you this because I'm selling anything.


Positive thinking is hardly a novel idea. In 1952, Norman Vincent Peale wrote The Power of Positive Thinking which has sold 20 million copies, and been been translated into 41 languages.

And we've all certainly heard medical doctors speak on the subject of hope and despair - and how patients respond nearly miraculously to the former, while declining precipitously when taken hold by the latter. Nearly everyone has known of lifetime partners who give up the will to live when the other passes away. The mind is extremely powerful. It can will the body into health and wellness, and even death.

So why not financial prosperity, or the career you've been hoping for, or the right relationship? No reason at all, said this group on CNN - and I tend to agree. You just have to put your mind to it. I'm not saying it's a piece of cake - you know, Abracadabra. But, I do think being ready for the things that you want, and imagining living a life that includes those things, is key to making it so.


But what intrigued me the most about Larry King's guests is that they all agreed that the most important thing you can do to achieve the life you want is to be actively grateful for the life that you have. I couldn't agree more! By focusing on the positive things already happining to you, you open yourself up to receiving more positive things.

I try to be conscious of the good things that come my way. I am grateful for every healthy day I have on earth. For a family who love me. For the opportunities I have just because of when and where and to whom I was born. For my education. For this journey. For my friends. The list could go on and on. Even when I have been in pain, I have been grateful - which I know sounds strange. But I am so very thankful to feel both the ups and downs on this carnival ride called life. So even when my heart has been broken, or I've not been sure how things were going to work out for me financially, I have felt so lucky to have the adventure of finding out what's next. So many people don't feel anything at all. As Rosiland Russell said as the character Auntie Mame, "Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!"

I spend a lot of time saying "thank you," both silently and out loud to God and the Universe. To people living and dead. Sometimes to inanimate objects.

In this season of Thanksgiving, it seems appropriate to take the time to be especially appreciative of what we have to be grateful for. I have a friend who often complains about others he considers to be members of "the lucky sperm club." These folks are those who were born with a silver spoon in their mouths, or perhaps just better connections than my friend enjoys. Their paths in life were smoothed by parents whose legacies at Ivy Leagues paved the way for III, IV, or V. The family firm awaited despite average grades complains my friend, while his hard work at a state school has been rewarded with a string of mediocre jobs in which he has been under-appreciated. Hmmm.

Perhaps I'm just heartless, but my response to him and anyone else sharing his point of view is that if you are reading this, chances are you are a bona fide member of the lucky sperm club. You are probably living in a "first world" country - likely the USA - and have received a solid education (even if it did come from a state school). Your country - while certainly not perfect - is not being pulled apart by the turmoil of civil war, or famine, or plague. You can probably feed yourself, and your family. Afford to clothe them, house them. Take vacations. Maybe have a shore house.

Are there people luckier than you? Yes. Are there far more people in the world less lucky? Why don't you look around and see for yourself, and then thank God...or whoever you believe in thanking?



So I've started an endless and eclectic list of "Thank Yous" that begins something like this: Thank You to the Universe that I finally got to see Tivoli decorated for Christmas. It was every bit as enchanting as I imagined - I envision bringing my niece and nephews here someday! Thank you Stacey for giving me my pink slip at The Barnes - I'd be sitting at my desk now otherwise still dreaming of this journey. Thank you John for teaching me the importance of living each and every day. Thank you Mom and Dad for giving me the opportunities that allow me to be here today. Thank you Alice for Megan, David and Matthew. Thank you Chuck for more than just memories. Thank you Marc for the steadfast support. Thank you Sarah for leaving comments on nearly all of my posts - it's been so nice knowing someone was out there reading! Thank you to each of you who has read this blog and taken the time to give me encouragement. You may not realize how much it has meant, but I've been so grateful. Thank you dp - I can always depend on you, you enabler!


And so it goes, on and on, my list. Not usually recorded on a blog, but recited in my head as I walk down unfamiliar streets, or take in wonderous new surroundings. I light candles in churches in gratitude - even though I'm not a Catholic. Sometimes, I drop a note, a card, an email - I even pick up the phone and call occasionally and say "thank you" in person. Or bow my head in prayer.

So why not try it yourself? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.


To all of you, my Friends, thank you.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I am thankful for your posted Christmas Card. When it arrived this morning I thought "She's back!". Then I spotted the notation LUFTPOST and wondered "Is that in Old City?". I have since figured it out, but now can't get the song "99 Luftballons" out of my head. (Nena always hated me because I insisted it was 'balloons'. A most unpleasant young girl - but she did go to Senior Prom with me, so that's something I guess.)
Anonymous said…
Hi Lily, I don't know you, but I have a thank you to add: thank you for this post! I shed tears earlier tonight over some things in life that I may never have, yet long for so deeply. I realize that a mindset of gratitute would help take my focus off the pain. Your post reinforced that and reminded me to be thankful for the abundant blessings that I DO have. God bless you.

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